I used to think a drug addict was someone who lived on the far edges of society. Wild-eyed, shaven-headed and living in a filthy squat. That was until I became one…
When I was eleven I started smoking weed. I had gotten drunk for my first time at twelve and I threw up everywhere but I still thought it was the funniest thing. By 14 I had tried everything except meth and crack. I went through phases first was the adderall and cocaine lines and then there was eating as much Molly as I could until I was hallucinating. I had eaten thirty exctasy pills in one weekend. I would sniff Percocet after Percocet and that was my favorite.
I liked drooling on myself I loved feeling my slow beating heart.
My ex boyfriend was selling heroin to support our perc habit and then he started doing it and one day he offered it to me.
I blew a whole bag and back then the bags were full. And in that moment I just fucking knew what love was. I had never felt to comfortable and so numb. I couldn’t remember any bad thing that had ever happened to me. But the funny thing was I quit six months later didn’t touch it for a year just stuck to my pills.
I broke my femur in half in 2012 and was prescribed Percocet and one time my mom counted them an hour after we picked them up and twenty were missing. I couldn’t even count how many were going up my nose anymore.
I can’t even remember how I got back into dope but all I know is when I did I fell in hard.
I’d sniff a bag every fifteen minutes just to feel normal not even high just normal I couldn’t get high anymore and you know I think that’s what kills you. You chase that first high that first feeling and you chase and you chase until your body just shuts down.
I eventually stuck a needle in my arm something I had been saying I’d never do forever. And that was a whole new feeling.
I was living hotel to hotel staying with my drug dealing friends stealing dope off the piles on the plates in the room.
Then one day I went to pick up and got arrested in a raid when I got back. It’s hilarious how things work out.
Spent the next year in and out of jail and rehab and house arrest and then finally sobriety stuck I really wanted it.
I have a year clean now and my life couldn’t be Better.
“Are you wearing a mask?” “When are you getting your face fixed?”
“Look at that girl! She looks so weird…”
These are the three most common reactions to my appearance.
My name is Kali, I am 18, I am a Korean-American, and I… look different.
I was born with a medical condition that (clearly) affects my face. Essentially my lymphatic system can’t properly circulate fluid so the excess fluid builds up in my face. It is difficult to remove because the tumor-like masses can interfere with my nervous and circulatory systems. Sure, I’ve had many, many surgeries done, but there is very little chance I will ever look “normal”.
They say to never judge a book by its cover. I always tried to live by that mantra. I went to a summer math program when I was 14 and was assigned a roommate. The moment I walked into the dorm room, she spoke to one of our counselors and requested a roommate change.
I never cried so hard in my life.
A book is more than its cover. I’m a Starbucks addict. I play three instruments. I write poetry.
And you wouldn’t know that by looking at my face.
A person in more than his or her face. I’ve struggled to fit in at college for this reason- that people still feel hesitant to talk to me because of my appearance. They say rude things behind my back. I had grown up with the same people from elementary school through high school, so people were used to me. I hoped people would learn to accept me in college, but I haven’t found that yet.
You can’t exactly tell Stanford students that they’re stupid, can you?
I guess the reason I’m posting this is to introduce myself, and to tell my story. I don’t want to be an inspiration. I’m not a hero. I’ve simply learned to accept myself.
Someday I hope others here do, too.
My name is Kali, I am 18, I am a Korean-American, and I… am more than my appearance.
Misogyny.
Meanwhile, where’s OUR app to tell us how many women they’ve slept with, how many kids they got and don’t take care of, or how many women they’ve left sexually frustrated?
Please and thank you
Or how many women they’ve assaulted, slandered, lead on for sex.
men LOVE to talk shit about women who are sexually active, while feeling like GODS for sleeping with as many women as possible
if you think a woman is spoiled after being touched, maybe you should take a look at your own damn hands
Maybe if they had an app like this, they’d be able to actually find the damn clit
